Duplicity Messages

[thenewnormal]

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[angrycowboy]

You know there wasn't a single day when you didn't deserve better.

How are you dealing with that?

[thenewnormal]

I mean. There are questions. Why. How. And there's a part of me that's sad and regrets what I know never could have been. But there's also relief. And it's a whole mess. I don't even know if I should feel relief. If this place can pick and choose when in a person's timeline they can catch you, there's every chance that he could one day show up here.

[angrycowboy]

Yeah, and if he does, there'll be a wall of people keeping him away from you. Including me.

Alex, whatever you're feeling? It's okay. Relief, anger, whatever it is, it's okay to feel it. I never want him to hurt you again.

[thenewnormal]

You know that goes both ways? If he hurt you again...

[ He doesn't really like to think about it, because the very idea makes him sick. ]

[angrycowboy]

I'm everything he hates in one person.

You're his son.

Tell me which seems less forgivable to you.

[thenewnormal]

You. At least to me.

[angrycowboy]

Alex.

[thenewnormal]

[ There's a long minute where there's nothing but an endless loop of Alex trying to type a response. And finally, he gives Guerin a call. ]

No 'Alex'. Not this time.

[angrycowboy]

[ Oh, so we're doing this.

Okay then. ]

What, you want me to call you Al?

[thenewnormal]

I'm not a goddamn Disney character.

Look. I had to watch helplessly as my father systematically destroyed two of the things you needed the most. Your music and then your family. I have long since stopped giving a shit about what he does to me. But then, he doesn't have to do it to me anymore. He found my weakness.

[angrycowboy]

[ Michael breathes out a sigh, on the other end of the line.

They've talked about this before. The last time, Alex had made Michael promise to think about fixing it. About talking to Max. They both know that opportunity is gone now.

But. ]

I know.

I don't want to be your weakness. I'm thinking about it, I promise.

[thenewnormal]

That's not what I...

[ There's a deep, shuddering breath. ]

Good. I hope so for your sake, but that's not what I meant. You're not just going to fix your hand and stop making me suffer when you're in pain. It doesn't work like that.

[angrycowboy]

[ A beat. ]

I don't think it's my pain on your mind right now.

[thenewnormal]

God, I wish it weren't. I'd take forbidden flirting with you over remembering your face just before we left Caulfield any day.

video

[angrycowboy]

[ Okay, enough of this. He switches to video, letting Alex see what his face looks like right now. ]

So, don't. Look at me, Alex, I'm okay. I'm not in that moment, and I don't want to die.

I didn't want to die then. Not really.

[thenewnormal]

[ There's a soft smile when he actually sees Guerin, but it's a bit sad, too. ]

Really? So you were banking on me trying to talk you out of it?

cw: suicidal ideation

[angrycowboy]

[ Michael's smile mirrors Alex's. ]

No. In the moment I meant it. It felt like I just found everything I was looking for, and losing it all at the same time. It didn't feel like I had anything to live for.

But I was wrong. And, lying. Which you know.

[thenewnormal]

Turns out you were a bad liar. Who knew?

[ Alex just takes a moment to look. ]

Did you ever get the answers you wanted from Max?

[angrycowboy]

[ He sighs, then shrugs. ]

Some. Not all. We were still in a fight when he...

[ Michael never was very good at leaving things on a positive note. That probably won't be a surprise to Alex. ]

There is something, though. Something I'm not even sure your dad ever knew.

There was a kid, Alex. A hybrid, alien kid. He didn't tell me who.

[thenewnormal]

He'll forgive you. You know he will.

[ At that last comment by Michael, Alex's eyebrows go way up. ]

So you mean you might have a great-niece or nephew roaming around out there somewhere?

[angrycowboy]

[ Michael shakes his head. ]

Not me. Isobel.

My mom and hers, they were taken in by a farmer. Isobel's mom fell in love with him, they had a kid. That's as much as I know. I think Max knew more, but he wouldn't tell me.

[thenewnormal]

All right, so your sister has a great-niece or nephew out there somewhere. Unless you're really going to tell me that Isobel isn't pretty much your sister.

Jesus. So she got out. At least for a little while.

[angrycowboy]

They escaped. Weren't caught, not until later. Until after.

[ He sighs, shrugs. ]

Didn't last. [ Obviously. ] But it means this kid is out there somewhere. Grown, nearby. Maybe not even aware of where they come from.

[thenewnormal]

Maybe. Probably. Part-human, then. God, sometimes it sucks to be here. All this knowledge of things in our future and we can't do a goddamn thing.

[angrycowboy]

[ A pause. ]

Yeah, maybe. If that's how it is.