[ He says, which is a warning that just seems truthful, really. ]
Nick skipped out on the house again. He says he was giving me space after the whole William reveal, but all I'm taking from that is that every time things are hard for him, he doesn't want to face me. Specifically, me.
That means I'm keeping him away from Kyle, and they're...you know. Permanent contract. Kyle's never been that happy. I don't want to be the reason Nick stays away, and I was at Christmas, and I was these last few weeks.
So I want to be at the house less. Not moving out, nothing like that. But if it's not guaranteed I'll be there, maybe he won't feel like he has to stay away to avoid me.
You know part of the reason he's so happy is you, right?
[ He wraps one of his hands in Michael's hair at the back of his neck. ]
Have you actually talked to Kyle about what's going on? Because I'm not sure that having Nick there and you gone would actually solve any problems. Or at least it would only create new ones. I mean, I'm sure it seems like the perfect solution. Give him more space with Nick. But I think you might be underestimating how important you are to him.
[ After all, Michael had been dead and so had not seen what his death had done to Kyle. Had done to them both. Just like Kyle hadn't seen what his death had done to them both. ]
[ Michael sighs, eyes closing. Something relaxes in his shoulders when Alex touches him like that. It always does. He moves closer to him, head dipping, hands coming up to his waist. ]
I talked to him before I left, [ he says, lifting his eyes up to meet Alex's. ] I know I'm not as important as Nick is, Alex. I mean, they're permanently contracted, you know what that meant to you and Bass. I don't want to be the thing in the way of their happiness.
Besides, it's not like I'm gonna be gone. I want to be there less, I'm not moving out. Kyle's still gonna see plenty of me.
It meant that I was trying to ease his jealousy about you. That just because I loved you didn't mean I loved him any less. And I promise you that if you said you weren't as important to Kyle as Nick was, he'd deny that wholeheartedly.
[ There's a wry sort of smile that suggests he might have said exactly that or at least something similar. ]
But fine. If that's the way you're thinking about it, I'll make sure Kyle comes over here. For both your sakes.
Sometimes I can't help but remember Kyle sitting in the kitchen to a house he didn't remember and telling us how he had a hole in his heart. And I remember how that felt. Back in Roswell. Here, before admitting to what I felt.
[ He opens his eyes again and shakes his head. ]
I'm not saying you're not doing the right things. And he has keys to the house. He got them at Christmas, same as you. I just want to make sure he knows he's actually comfortable using them.
I think we're getting there. I don't think you take enough credit for your part in it. You and I might have had our time in the city and then time back in Roswell to work things out, but it was a little more complicated for me and Kyle.
[ Which is probably saying a lot given how many problems Alex and Michael have had, but at the same time, his relationship with Michael has always been romantic.
[ Half of Michael's problem is that he doesn't clearly see his own importance to Kyle; even after all this time, it's still natural for him to think that he's not a priority. It's not even a problem for him; he just thinks that it's a fact known and accepted by everyone, including himself. ]
I think me and Kyle had less to work out. All our problems came from the grudges we held in high school. Once we got past that, it was pretty easy. Especially here, when I was seeing him be someone else's victim. Put things in perspective.
You guys had more to get through, you had all of that plus new issues brought up here. This place brought me closer to him, but it pushed you two away for a while. I'm glad all that's done.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2022-05-07 05:34 pm (UTC)Hey. So you don't usually need to ask to spend a night or two over. What's going on?
[ Along with an implied 'how can I help?' ]
no subject
Date: 2022-05-16 10:36 pm (UTC)You're gonna think I'm stupid,
[ He says, which is a warning that just seems truthful, really. ]
Nick skipped out on the house again. He says he was giving me space after the whole William reveal, but all I'm taking from that is that every time things are hard for him, he doesn't want to face me. Specifically, me.
That means I'm keeping him away from Kyle, and they're...you know. Permanent contract. Kyle's never been that happy. I don't want to be the reason Nick stays away, and I was at Christmas, and I was these last few weeks.
So I want to be at the house less. Not moving out, nothing like that. But if it's not guaranteed I'll be there, maybe he won't feel like he has to stay away to avoid me.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-16 11:15 pm (UTC)[ He wraps one of his hands in Michael's hair at the back of his neck. ]
Have you actually talked to Kyle about what's going on? Because I'm not sure that having Nick there and you gone would actually solve any problems. Or at least it would only create new ones. I mean, I'm sure it seems like the perfect solution. Give him more space with Nick. But I think you might be underestimating how important you are to him.
[ After all, Michael had been dead and so had not seen what his death had done to Kyle. Had done to them both. Just like Kyle hadn't seen what his death had done to them both. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-05-17 10:35 pm (UTC)I talked to him before I left, [ he says, lifting his eyes up to meet Alex's. ] I know I'm not as important as Nick is, Alex. I mean, they're permanently contracted, you know what that meant to you and Bass. I don't want to be the thing in the way of their happiness.
Besides, it's not like I'm gonna be gone. I want to be there less, I'm not moving out. Kyle's still gonna see plenty of me.
no subject
Date: 2022-05-22 04:02 am (UTC)It meant that I was trying to ease his jealousy about you. That just because I loved you didn't mean I loved him any less. And I promise you that if you said you weren't as important to Kyle as Nick was, he'd deny that wholeheartedly.
[ There's a wry sort of smile that suggests he might have said exactly that or at least something similar. ]
But fine. If that's the way you're thinking about it, I'll make sure Kyle comes over here. For both your sakes.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-16 02:48 pm (UTC)That is what he said, right before I promised him he'd see plenty of me.
Alex, I swear, I'm not trying to avoid Kyle. I'm mostly talking about nights here, and he and I don't share a bed anyway.
[ Because Kyle and Nick do, when Nick's there anyway. Michael has his own room. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-17 12:10 pm (UTC)[ He closes his eyes. ]
Sometimes I can't help but remember Kyle sitting in the kitchen to a house he didn't remember and telling us how he had a hole in his heart. And I remember how that felt. Back in Roswell. Here, before admitting to what I felt.
[ He opens his eyes again and shakes his head. ]
I'm not saying you're not doing the right things. And he has keys to the house. He got them at Christmas, same as you. I just want to make sure he knows he's actually comfortable using them.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-17 12:42 pm (UTC)[ Michael smiles, and reaches to pull Alex's hand up to his lips. He kisses it, and leans his head in against his boyfriend's. ]
I don't think he has a hole in his heart anymore, and I think you're a big part of that.
You know, if you're that worried, come and stay with me sometimes, and then you'll be with him too.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-18 06:06 pm (UTC)[ Which is probably saying a lot given how many problems Alex and Michael have had, but at the same time, his relationship with Michael has always been romantic.
He smiles at Michael's offer. ]
Any time.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-20 05:31 pm (UTC)I think me and Kyle had less to work out. All our problems came from the grudges we held in high school. Once we got past that, it was pretty easy. Especially here, when I was seeing him be someone else's victim. Put things in perspective.
You guys had more to get through, you had all of that plus new issues brought up here. This place brought me closer to him, but it pushed you two away for a while. I'm glad all that's done.