I mean, some. He was the one I first told about my dad. You saw that one moment of violence, but Kyle was there when we were growing up. He saw all of it. At least until high school.
I mean. There are questions. Why. How. And there's a part of me that's sad and regrets what I know never could have been. But there's also relief. And it's a whole mess. I don't even know if I should feel relief. If this place can pick and choose when in a person's timeline they can catch you, there's every chance that he could one day show up here.
Look. I had to watch helplessly as my father systematically destroyed two of the things you needed the most. Your music and then your family. I have long since stopped giving a shit about what he does to me. But then, he doesn't have to do it to me anymore. He found my weakness.
[ Michael breathes out a sigh, on the other end of the line.
They've talked about this before. The last time, Alex had made Michael promise to think about fixing it. About talking to Max. They both know that opportunity is gone now.
But. ]
I know.
I don't want to be your weakness. I'm thinking about it, I promise.
Good. I hope so for your sake, but that's not what I meant. You're not just going to fix your hand and stop making me suffer when you're in pain. It doesn't work like that.
No. In the moment I meant it. It felt like I just found everything I was looking for, and losing it all at the same time. It didn't feel like I had anything to live for.
My mom and hers, they were taken in by a farmer. Isobel's mom fell in love with him, they had a kid. That's as much as I know. I think Max knew more, but he wouldn't tell me.
All right, so your sister has a great-niece or nephew out there somewhere. Unless you're really going to tell me that Isobel isn't pretty much your sister.
Jesus. So she got out. At least for a little while.
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2021-03-12 12:29 am (UTC)You guys been talking?
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Date: 2021-03-12 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-12 03:55 pm (UTC)How are you dealing with that?
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Date: 2021-03-12 04:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-12 05:53 pm (UTC)Alex, whatever you're feeling? It's okay. Relief, anger, whatever it is, it's okay to feel it. I never want him to hurt you again.
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Date: 2021-03-14 04:31 pm (UTC)[ He doesn't really like to think about it, because the very idea makes him sick. ]
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Date: 2021-03-14 05:27 pm (UTC)You're his son.
Tell me which seems less forgivable to you.
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Date: 2021-03-14 05:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-14 05:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2021-03-14 05:45 pm (UTC)No 'Alex'. Not this time.
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Date: 2021-03-14 05:48 pm (UTC)Okay then. ]
What, you want me to call you Al?
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Date: 2021-03-14 05:52 pm (UTC)Look. I had to watch helplessly as my father systematically destroyed two of the things you needed the most. Your music and then your family. I have long since stopped giving a shit about what he does to me. But then, he doesn't have to do it to me anymore. He found my weakness.
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Date: 2021-03-14 05:59 pm (UTC)They've talked about this before. The last time, Alex had made Michael promise to think about fixing it. About talking to Max. They both know that opportunity is gone now.
But. ]
I know.
I don't want to be your weakness. I'm thinking about it, I promise.
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Date: 2021-03-14 06:06 pm (UTC)[ There's a deep, shuddering breath. ]
Good. I hope so for your sake, but that's not what I meant. You're not just going to fix your hand and stop making me suffer when you're in pain. It doesn't work like that.
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Date: 2021-03-14 06:11 pm (UTC)I don't think it's my pain on your mind right now.
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Date: 2021-03-14 06:19 pm (UTC)video
Date: 2021-03-14 06:23 pm (UTC)So, don't. Look at me, Alex, I'm okay. I'm not in that moment, and I don't want to die.
I didn't want to die then. Not really.
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Date: 2021-03-14 06:43 pm (UTC)Really? So you were banking on me trying to talk you out of it?
cw: suicidal ideation
Date: 2021-03-14 06:53 pm (UTC)No. In the moment I meant it. It felt like I just found everything I was looking for, and losing it all at the same time. It didn't feel like I had anything to live for.
But I was wrong. And, lying. Which you know.
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Date: 2021-03-14 07:23 pm (UTC)[ Alex just takes a moment to look. ]
Did you ever get the answers you wanted from Max?
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Date: 2021-03-14 07:30 pm (UTC)Some. Not all. We were still in a fight when he...
[ Michael never was very good at leaving things on a positive note. That probably won't be a surprise to Alex. ]
There is something, though. Something I'm not even sure your dad ever knew.
There was a kid, Alex. A hybrid, alien kid. He didn't tell me who.
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Date: 2021-03-14 07:50 pm (UTC)[ At that last comment by Michael, Alex's eyebrows go way up. ]
So you mean you might have a great-niece or nephew roaming around out there somewhere?
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Date: 2021-03-14 08:27 pm (UTC)Not me. Isobel.
My mom and hers, they were taken in by a farmer. Isobel's mom fell in love with him, they had a kid. That's as much as I know. I think Max knew more, but he wouldn't tell me.
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Date: 2021-03-14 10:38 pm (UTC)Jesus. So she got out. At least for a little while.
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Date: 2021-03-18 10:44 pm (UTC)[ He sighs, shrugs. ]
Didn't last. [ Obviously. ] But it means this kid is out there somewhere. Grown, nearby. Maybe not even aware of where they come from.
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