This is going to sound bad, so let me start by saying you didn't do anything wrong. And then by saying something you probably didn't know. I hadn't slept with someone I didn't have feelings for in a very long time. Or at least very shortly thereafter caught feelings for, like with Bass.
[ And Kyle, but that's a whole other story. ]
Don't ask me how. It meant a lot of time either spent like a monk or glued to someone's side. But that meant that I felt guilty when I wasn't monogamous. Or...well, that word hasn't applied for a while, but you know what I mean. Faithful, I guess. Which is ridiculous because neither Michael or Kyle asked for it.
[ And some of it is because of Bass and his issues but most of it was on Alex himself. ]
Three years of new memories have made me rethink a lot of things, but I need to figure out if that's one of them. But I don't feel guilty anymore and I'm sorry I ever did. I'm kind of glad I never mentioned it back when I did feel like that.
Honestly, Nate. Didn't have anything to do with you. It's not like you forced me to do anything. I made that choice. And it's not like I spread around...well, how much I haven't been around.
listen, i'm pretty free about sex it's not the same thing as love for me but i understand if it is for you. i won't make moves on you again, i promise.
No, I got that. And I don't want you to be sorry. Or stop flirting because that's just a part of who you are. That's why I didn't say anything before.
Look, it's complicated. I was stupid in love with Michael Guerin for ten years. I didn't even see him for any of it. I'm still stupid in love with him, but time changes things. This place has changed things. But I'm still coming to terms with it.
I don't know if I'll ever be ready for a friends with benefits kind of things, but...
i get being stupid in love. i just feel it for more than one person
but then i never had that at home, like i never had someone who felt like a soulmate or whatever. not until i came here, where i was already involved with like multiple people, and i do get it now, though.
anyway the offer can stay open but i'll leave the ball in your court, ok? you ever want it to be more than flirting, you can tell me.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2022-01-20 02:43 pm (UTC)This is going to sound bad, so let me start by saying you didn't do anything wrong. And then by saying something you probably didn't know. I hadn't slept with someone I didn't have feelings for in a very long time. Or at least very shortly thereafter caught feelings for, like with Bass.
[ And Kyle, but that's a whole other story. ]
Don't ask me how. It meant a lot of time either spent like a monk or glued to someone's side. But that meant that I felt guilty when I wasn't monogamous. Or...well, that word hasn't applied for a while, but you know what I mean. Faithful, I guess. Which is ridiculous because neither Michael or Kyle asked for it.
[ And some of it is because of Bass and his issues but most of it was on Alex himself. ]
Three years of new memories have made me rethink a lot of things, but I need to figure out if that's one of them. But I don't feel guilty anymore and I'm sorry I ever did. I'm kind of glad I never mentioned it back when I did feel like that.
no subject
Date: 2022-01-20 03:01 pm (UTC)what we did?
no subject
Date: 2022-01-21 03:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-01-21 09:12 am (UTC)that's the last way i'd ever want to make someone feel, i swear
no subject
Date: 2022-02-15 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-02-15 08:03 pm (UTC)i'm still sorry
listen, i'm pretty free about sex
it's not the same thing as love for me
but i understand if it is for you. i won't make moves on you again, i promise.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-01 09:50 pm (UTC)Look, it's complicated. I was stupid in love with Michael Guerin for ten years. I didn't even see him for any of it. I'm still stupid in love with him, but time changes things. This place has changed things. But I'm still coming to terms with it.
I don't know if I'll ever be ready for a friends with benefits kind of things, but...
You did have my attention with the offer.
no subject
Date: 2022-03-02 11:15 am (UTC)you can let me know.
i get being stupid in love. i just feel it for more than one person
but then i never had that at home, like i never had someone who felt like a soulmate or whatever. not until i came here, where i was already involved with like multiple people, and
i do get it now, though.
anyway the offer can stay open
but i'll leave the ball in your court, ok? you ever want it to be more than flirting, you can tell me.