Hey, I've lived through you dying. Though Michael dying. You don't have to tell me how painful it feels. It kind of reminds me of Michael, when he was going after the pod, but he was also planning to get his father's sword. Didn't want to listen to reason.
Except he did in the end. I wish I could just make Barry see.
[ But he knew how to get Michael to listen to him. He didn't have any kind of shortcut for Barry. ]
Nate had us doing all kinds of things better not talked about. Though mine are there for anyone to see when I have my shirt off.
I know, and I know you respect that. It just irks me to watch egos like that and how they'll lead others into the same pain.
I'm not sure you can, honestly. That's the hard part. Whether it's thinking he's bigger and badder, or just wanting to punish himself, given all he talks about it I just feel like he'll just keep doing it. Adrenaline junkie maybe.
Where I got mine too, and it's not a bad thing not to talk about Alex. Nate was a good person and anything he did was not just for his sake so nothing wrong with it. Not like some we've known here.
I think it doesn't make me as angry because I've been there. I was like that. Before I got shot and lost my leg. Running into danger without thinking about it because I knew I was on the right side. That doesn't mean I'm happy about any of it. It's painful to see people repeat mistakes I've made, especially when I know they won't listen.
And god knows, Barry is more idealistic than I ever was. And more stubborn.
It's the how and why he did what he did. It's one thing being that type of person. It's another hearing someone's pain and risking yourself for kicks because of it.
I thought for a while it was idealism and stubborn but beginning to feel its other things, and that's where it's rough for me.
I'll just have to figure out how I feel and what I'm going to do about it, but for now? Honestly? I'm just going to be hurt and angry. I don't think I let myself feel them often enough.
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momijizukamori
no subject
Date: 2023-09-27 12:46 am (UTC)Except he did in the end. I wish I could just make Barry see.
[ But he knew how to get Michael to listen to him. He didn't have any kind of shortcut for Barry. ]
Nate had us doing all kinds of things better not talked about. Though mine are there for anyone to see when I have my shirt off.
[ His piercings. ]
no subject
Date: 2023-09-28 05:33 pm (UTC)I'm not sure you can, honestly. That's the hard part. Whether it's thinking he's bigger and badder, or just wanting to punish himself, given all he talks about it I just feel like he'll just keep doing it. Adrenaline junkie maybe.
Where I got mine too, and it's not a bad thing not to talk about Alex. Nate was a good person and anything he did was not just for his sake so nothing wrong with it. Not like some we've known here.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-01 03:17 am (UTC)And god knows, Barry is more idealistic than I ever was. And more stubborn.
no subject
Date: 2023-10-02 06:24 pm (UTC)I thought for a while it was idealism and stubborn but beginning to feel its other things, and that's where it's rough for me.
I'll just have to figure out how I feel and what I'm going to do about it, but for now? Honestly? I'm just going to be hurt and angry. I don't think I let myself feel them often enough.