[That seems like too much to ask, but he asks it anyway before getting in his truck and making his way to the bar. He drives a little too fast, worried and a touch upset at Maria that she didn't cut Alex off, but mostly just wanting to try and make this somewhat right, if he can.]
[Michael doesn't answer, because he's driving, but he's driving pretty fast (Max can yell at him later), and gets there fairly quickly, coming in looking for Alex. And if no one has realized they have some sort of connection, he figures they're gonna know after this.
He spots him and makes his way over, resting a hand on his shoulder.]
“No,” Alex said, grabbing for Michael’s arm as soon as he was close enough. “Don’t leave.” That’s what he’d wanted to say in those moments before he’d left Michael’s bunker. And maybe now Michael would misinterpret it and just assume he meant here in the bar. But it didn’t matter as long as he didn’t leave. “Stay.”
He finished the last of the drink and closed his eyes.
How was it that they kept hurting each other? He hurt Michael by rejecting him after the drive-in and Michael hurt him by showing him the way he was going to leave. And then Alex was the one to leave first. Not that he went far. But it was just this cycle that they couldn’t break free from and he didn’t know how to end it.
Michael's eyebrows went up a little bit at the way Alex grabbed him, but he didn't pull away. He wasn't sure which place Alex meant right now--the bar or Earth--but he wasn't planning on leaving the bar without Alex, and he was in no position to leave Earth at the moment, which he'd been trying to explain to no avail earlier.
What he'd worked on, trapped and alone in this town, when Alex had been gone for ten years, seemed an uncool thing to get upset with him about now. But that Alex was upset about it, that Alex didn't want him to go? Well, that part he was taking as a win.
"I'm not leaving without you," he said, settling against him a little, not sitting down at the bar, but pressed close to Alex's side. "But I do think we should get you out of here..."
"Mmm." It wasn't agreement, exactly, so much as acknowledgement that Michael had said something because Alex had started licking his lips. "I haven't been this drunk in..." He made a face. "Since I found out about my leg. I think my lips are numb."
And that was a shame. He wanted to be able to feel it when he kissed Michael. When he backed Michael up against a wall and demanded that he stay. He thought his tongue was numb, too, and that was even more of a shame. He wanted to taste Michael even more than feeling his lips.
"I think we should get out of here. Go back to my place." And because he was a responsible drunk, he handed his keys to Michael. That and he wasn't sure he'd be able to unlock his door in his condition. He'd try, but realistically, he'd probably be trying to kiss Michael by that point.
"Depending on your objective, that's either a good thing or a really bad one" Michael commented dryly. Not that he hadn't gotten to the numb-lips stage plenty of times himself, but it tended to be not fun the next day and it did make a lot of things less pleasant while it lasted.
"Are your cheeks numb?" he asked as he took the keys away and shoved them in his pocket. "Because that's the next stage, usually..."
He slid an arm around Alex, gave Maria a look that said she should never have let him get in this state, ignored her confusion about just why Michael was the one hauling Alex out of here--but at least she didn't try to stop him, because that would have been all kinds of awkward.
Alex wrapped one arm around Michael’s waist and waved at Maria with the other. “I don’t know.” He poked his cheek as if that could tell him something. “Why don’t you stroke them and find out?”
He smiled. That was the perfect answer. He just needed to kiss Michael and maybe the kiss would be a little sloppier than usual, but Michael could cup his cheeks and then he’d know whether they were numb or not. Or at least it would have been the perfect answer if Michael weren’t propelling them toward the door.
Right. The car. Home. Well, maybe Michael could kiss him when they got there.
“You’ve never come over to mine,” he realized. They’d always stayed in Michael’s little trailer.
Michael gave him a curious look, tilting his head at the question, because it seemed so random, when Alex had been so upset. But he certainly wasn't going to start stroking Alex's cheeks in the middle of the bar.
"Maybe later..."
He had Alex's keys, but he moved to his own truck instead, not wanting to try and drive a new car. He got the door open, giving Alex another look, eyebrows up.
Alex snorted. "I'm an idiot." And then because he wasn't taking all the blame. "We're both idiots. You're so much better than a petty thief and I'm still that horrified, terrified kid in that old shed."
Except that he'd actually stood up to his dad this time. He hadn't run scared. But that hadn't been good enough. There was still that ship that Michael was trying to make and the piece of the ship that Alex had hidden in his bag in his car.
Maybe it was for the best that they weren't taking his.
He leaned against the window of the car door and closed his eyes and then realized something.
"Do you even know where that is?" It wasn't as if he'd gone out of his way to tell people. The Valenti cabin was his sanctuary. A place where his father couldn't get to him. Or at least that's what he told himself.
"Yeah, maybe we are," Michael agreed after a moment. He had made his share of mistakes, though a little less than he meant to with Alex. He could have told him sooner, but...when, he didn't know. And sleeping with Maria was a mistake, obviously--Alex had been upset, and the hurt in his eyes had hurt Michael.
He sighed, looking over at Alex. "You're not that kid, though. And you proved that with your dad today."
He focused back out on the road. "Valenti's cabin, right?" He'd heard Kyle mention it in passing to Liz when they'd been working in the lab these last weeks.
“Maybe,” he said, shaking his head. “Maybe not.” He was still so terrified of some things, not the least of which was Michael himself. Or, more specifically, his feelings for Michael. He was tryiing to get over it, trying to get their relationship to mean more than desperate, amazing sex that left them both ravaged in its wake, but sometimes it was just too easy to give in to what they wanted and forget about everything else.
Alex opened his eyes in surprise when Michael guessed correctly.
“Yeah, how’d you know that?” Michael he trusted, but he’d rather it not get back to his dad if he could help it. Even if he was only fooling himself that his dad didn’t know.
Michael generally refused to admit fear, except where Alex was concerned. Because, yeah, what he felt for the other man turned him right around and upside down, and left him with no clue what he was doing--all of which was unnerving. They'd hurt each other so much, he wasn't quite sure how they rebuilt, but he also knew that even hurting, he'd rather have Alex in his life than out of it.
He glanced over at him, arching an eyebrow, then shrugged. "Been working with Liz at the hospital the past six, seven weeks. Kyle stops in fairly frequently." Michael suspected he felt bad for stabbing Isobel with the syringe, even though she'd forced it. "It came up in conversation at some point between them."
And Michael tended to listen pathetically closely anytime anyone mentioned Alex's name.
"He tried to break in," Alex said, shaking his head and closing his eyes again. Clearly Kyle's father hadn't told anyone that he'd given the place to Alex, not even his own family. Which was just fine by him. And as long as Kyle was only talking about it with Liz and Michael, that was fine. He trusted the two of them.
He was quiet for a minute and then he whispered, "Thanks. For picking me up." He'd run away again. He knew it and he couldn't stop himself. All he'd seen was Michael's way out. Never mind that Alex had the piece that made sure he couldn't. Never mind that there was every possibility that, when confronted with the choice, he'd choose to stay with Max and Isobel.
Almost directly on the heels of making the decision that he wouldn't walk away, that was exactly what he did.
“To the cabin?” Michael wasn’t sure he’d parsed that right. It didn’t make a lot of sense from his perspective, but he was also distracted by Alex’s state of intoxication.
The fact that Alex had gotten that drunk because of him wasn’t lost on him, either. Michael hadn’t meant to send him running again, but he guessed he’d given him just another reason. Trying to put the console together when he didn’t have any reason to stay had focused him, given him a chance to focus on something that felt productive, that let him learn, that distracted him from what he’d lost.
But he’d never meant it to hurt Alex. For a while he’d been pretty sure he couldn’t do that. Knowing he could threw him a little.
“Of course,” he said to the thanks. “Though I didn’t expect to be the person you asked...”
Alex made a soft sound of agreement. “It was his dad’s,” he said almost in defense of Kyle’s actions. He hadn’t really been upset at the time. More bemused at what Kyle was trying to do. Then, of course, he’d been completely the opposite of bemused. It wasn’t like he’d raised Kyle’s father on some kind of pedestal, but his feelings for the man were almost parental. If he had any real idea of what that felt like. Finding out that he’d had a daughter no one ever knew about? A little weird. Weirder still, finding that piece of the ship Michael was trying to put together in the basement.
And just as Alex’s thoughts were turning back to Michael and the whole ‘leaving’ situation, Michael made a comment about how he hadn’t expected to be the one that Alex called.
“Who else would I call?” Sure, he had friends. And friends who would probably have driven him home if he asked. But friends weren’t who he wanted to see. Needed to see. Even when it hurt to see him. His go to option was and always would be Michael.
"I guess." Michael wasn't really interested in Kyle's motives. The past few weeks hadn't changed his opinion of the other guy much, and Alex sounding almost defensive about him just made Michael like him less. He hadn't known the sherrif, not really - he'd been part of the system that had left Michael in worse and worse places and never really someone Michael would've thought capable of helping.
"I don't know? Liz. Maria." He felt a bit of a waver of something uncomfortable there, but, again--how was he supposed to know Alex would care, especially after how he'd been with Michael in the bar just earlier that day, so dismissive it had hurt, like Michael hadn't even mattered. Thinking maybe he did was still something he didn't have his head wrapped around. "One of your many other friends?"
Which Alex had, even after all this time away. Michael...didn't, as Maria had so clearly pointed out, so. He wasn't used to being the person anyone called, honestly. Not even Max, the past few years.
“Are you jealous of guys I knew back in high school?” Alex asked, his head lolling in Michael’s direction. “I wasn’t thinking of any of them.” No, his mind had been on Michael all day. Ever since he’d showed up to talk and saw Michael with Maria’s necklace. It’d been obvious what had happened. And it hurt even if she said it didn’t mean anything. It hurt because he didn’t have any right to call either of them on it.
But he still loved Michael. Even with everything. Or maybe because of everything. Or maybe just still. He’d never stopped, not really.
“You slept with Maria.” There. At least he’d said it. He didn’t sound hurt. If anything, he was more tired. Tired of the both of them hurting each other. Tired of life coming between them. He’d come to try to talk and then Maria. And then finding out that Michael was planning on leaving. He wasn’t sure how many damns he had left. But still he’d called Michael.
"No." He wasn't, really. More recognizing his own isolation. Funny - it's never really bothered him until recently. It should feel a little better, now, given Alex knows his secret, the thing that's at least part of what's kept him pulling away from people. But then Alex walked away again, afer saying he wasn't going to do it anymore.
But, then Alex mentioned Maria, and Michael winced, but he couldn't interpret the tone, especially given Alex had called him.
"Yeah. I did." He wasn't sure if he should apologize, but...Alex had seemed to make it very clear that they were over, wouldn't even stay in the bar with him, and then the fake healer, and the memories of his hand, and too much tequila. But he wasn't sure if he should try to explain, or apologize, or defend himself.
In the end, he settled on just saying, "And I came when you called."
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momijizukamori
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Date: 2019-04-09 06:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-13 01:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-13 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-14 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-14 03:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-18 01:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-04-21 02:10 am (UTC)[That seems like too much to ask, but he asks it anyway before getting in his truck and making his way to the bar. He drives a little too fast, worried and a touch upset at Maria that she didn't cut Alex off, but mostly just wanting to try and make this somewhat right, if he can.]
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Date: 2019-04-23 05:54 pm (UTC)[Because he wants to wrap his arms around Michael and never let go, but it's not as if he can just SAY that.]
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Date: 2019-04-24 11:44 pm (UTC)He spots him and makes his way over, resting a hand on his shoulder.]
Think that's enough, yet?
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Date: 2019-04-25 05:13 pm (UTC)He finished the last of the drink and closed his eyes.
How was it that they kept hurting each other? He hurt Michael by rejecting him after the drive-in and Michael hurt him by showing him the way he was going to leave. And then Alex was the one to leave first. Not that he went far. But it was just this cycle that they couldn’t break free from and he didn’t know how to end it.
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Date: 2019-05-05 01:54 am (UTC)What he'd worked on, trapped and alone in this town, when Alex had been gone for ten years, seemed an uncool thing to get upset with him about now. But that Alex was upset about it, that Alex didn't want him to go? Well, that part he was taking as a win.
"I'm not leaving without you," he said, settling against him a little, not sitting down at the bar, but pressed close to Alex's side. "But I do think we should get you out of here..."
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Date: 2019-05-05 07:46 pm (UTC)And that was a shame. He wanted to be able to feel it when he kissed Michael. When he backed Michael up against a wall and demanded that he stay. He thought his tongue was numb, too, and that was even more of a shame. He wanted to taste Michael even more than feeling his lips.
"I think we should get out of here. Go back to my place." And because he was a responsible drunk, he handed his keys to Michael. That and he wasn't sure he'd be able to unlock his door in his condition. He'd try, but realistically, he'd probably be trying to kiss Michael by that point.
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Date: 2019-05-06 03:54 am (UTC)"Are your cheeks numb?" he asked as he took the keys away and shoved them in his pocket. "Because that's the next stage, usually..."
He slid an arm around Alex, gave Maria a look that said she should never have let him get in this state, ignored her confusion about just why Michael was the one hauling Alex out of here--but at least she didn't try to stop him, because that would have been all kinds of awkward.
"Okay. I'll take you home...C'mon..."
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Date: 2019-05-08 06:56 pm (UTC)He smiled. That was the perfect answer. He just needed to kiss Michael and maybe the kiss would be a little sloppier than usual, but Michael could cup his cheeks and then he’d know whether they were numb or not. Or at least it would have been the perfect answer if Michael weren’t propelling them toward the door.
Right. The car. Home. Well, maybe Michael could kiss him when they got there.
“You’ve never come over to mine,” he realized. They’d always stayed in Michael’s little trailer.
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Date: 2019-05-09 04:21 am (UTC)"Maybe later..."
He had Alex's keys, but he moved to his own truck instead, not wanting to try and drive a new car. He got the door open, giving Alex another look, eyebrows up.
"You've never invited me to yours before now."
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Date: 2019-05-10 08:34 pm (UTC)Except that he'd actually stood up to his dad this time. He hadn't run scared. But that hadn't been good enough. There was still that ship that Michael was trying to make and the piece of the ship that Alex had hidden in his bag in his car.
Maybe it was for the best that they weren't taking his.
He leaned against the window of the car door and closed his eyes and then realized something.
"Do you even know where that is?" It wasn't as if he'd gone out of his way to tell people. The Valenti cabin was his sanctuary. A place where his father couldn't get to him. Or at least that's what he told himself.
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Date: 2019-05-11 03:37 am (UTC)He sighed, looking over at Alex. "You're not that kid, though. And you proved that with your dad today."
He focused back out on the road. "Valenti's cabin, right?" He'd heard Kyle mention it in passing to Liz when they'd been working in the lab these last weeks.
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Date: 2019-05-14 12:01 am (UTC)Alex opened his eyes in surprise when Michael guessed correctly.
“Yeah, how’d you know that?” Michael he trusted, but he’d rather it not get back to his dad if he could help it. Even if he was only fooling himself that his dad didn’t know.
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Date: 2019-05-14 09:41 am (UTC)He glanced over at him, arching an eyebrow, then shrugged. "Been working with Liz at the hospital the past six, seven weeks. Kyle stops in fairly frequently." Michael suspected he felt bad for stabbing Isobel with the syringe, even though she'd forced it. "It came up in conversation at some point between them."
And Michael tended to listen pathetically closely anytime anyone mentioned Alex's name.
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Date: 2019-05-19 05:47 pm (UTC)He was quiet for a minute and then he whispered, "Thanks. For picking me up." He'd run away again. He knew it and he couldn't stop himself. All he'd seen was Michael's way out. Never mind that Alex had the piece that made sure he couldn't. Never mind that there was every possibility that, when confronted with the choice, he'd choose to stay with Max and Isobel.
Almost directly on the heels of making the decision that he wouldn't walk away, that was exactly what he did.
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Date: 2019-05-31 05:02 pm (UTC)The fact that Alex had gotten that drunk because of him wasn’t lost on him, either. Michael hadn’t meant to send him running again, but he guessed he’d given him just another reason. Trying to put the console together when he didn’t have any reason to stay had focused him, given him a chance to focus on something that felt productive, that let him learn, that distracted him from what he’d lost.
But he’d never meant it to hurt Alex. For a while he’d been pretty sure he couldn’t do that. Knowing he could threw him a little.
“Of course,” he said to the thanks. “Though I didn’t expect to be the person you asked...”
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Date: 2019-06-14 12:04 am (UTC)And just as Alex’s thoughts were turning back to Michael and the whole ‘leaving’ situation, Michael made a comment about how he hadn’t expected to be the one that Alex called.
“Who else would I call?” Sure, he had friends. And friends who would probably have driven him home if he asked. But friends weren’t who he wanted to see. Needed to see. Even when it hurt to see him. His go to option was and always would be Michael.
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Date: 2019-06-14 12:34 am (UTC)"I don't know? Liz. Maria." He felt a bit of a waver of something uncomfortable there, but, again--how was he supposed to know Alex would care, especially after how he'd been with Michael in the bar just earlier that day, so dismissive it had hurt, like Michael hadn't even mattered. Thinking maybe he did was still something he didn't have his head wrapped around. "One of your many other friends?"
Which Alex had, even after all this time away. Michael...didn't, as Maria had so clearly pointed out, so. He wasn't used to being the person anyone called, honestly. Not even Max, the past few years.
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Date: 2019-07-01 12:59 am (UTC)But he still loved Michael. Even with everything. Or maybe because of everything. Or maybe just still. He’d never stopped, not really.
“You slept with Maria.” There. At least he’d said it. He didn’t sound hurt. If anything, he was more tired. Tired of the both of them hurting each other. Tired of life coming between them. He’d come to try to talk and then Maria. And then finding out that Michael was planning on leaving. He wasn’t sure how many damns he had left. But still he’d called Michael.
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Date: 2019-07-01 05:24 am (UTC)But, then Alex mentioned Maria, and Michael winced, but he couldn't interpret the tone, especially given Alex had called him.
"Yeah. I did." He wasn't sure if he should apologize, but...Alex had seemed to make it very clear that they were over, wouldn't even stay in the bar with him, and then the fake healer, and the memories of his hand, and too much tequila. But he wasn't sure if he should try to explain, or apologize, or defend himself.
In the end, he settled on just saying, "And I came when you called."
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